Sorry for all of the heavy posts, it's been kind of a heavy month.

It still doesn't seem real. I mean, in some ways it feels like I was just talking to her yesterday and in others it feels like it's been an eternity. How can a whole year have already passed?

I'll be honest, some things haven't been as hard as I thought they were going to be, but other things have definitely been more difficult. Emotions are so weird. Most days I'm fine, but occasionally I cry.

I cry because while I know Robin is always close, it's not fair that Hailey doesn't have a mom to help her shop for a first day of school outfit (luckily she does have a grammy and a chickee, a great dad, and lots of other mommies who love her a lot). I cry because Jason had to pick out a headstone and he's too young. I cry because I'm afraid of forgetting. I don't want to forget the sound of her laugh or the way her face would light up when Hailey walked into the room.

Luckily I also laugh a lot. I laugh about the funny faces she would make in the mirror when she thought no one was watching. I laugh when I use one of her phrases like "snicky snack" or when I think about the times we snuck her out of the hospital to go on craft store runs (sorry nurses).

So on this yucky anniversary, I don't want to spend my time crying. I'm going to go shopping, eat a great meal, wear Robin's trademark lipstick, and enjoy the beautiful flowers I got from my best friend because I'm pretty sure that's what Robin would want me to do.